Just Another Dosage
by romanceobbsesed
Summary: Beck and Jade have gotten into drugs and alcohol together. But beck is tired of living like that, however he has dug himself into a hole he can't get out of by himself. Can Tori help him? Or will romance and betrayal get in the way? Rated M for the mention of sex, cuss words, and the mention of drugs. Hope you enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Tori walked into the brick building feeling tired, but as she looked around she realized that on this Monday morning she was allowed to be. Everyone around was looking tired, the weekend had been long for everyone. As she looked around she saw a lot of sweatpants and tank-tops, flip-flops, and undone makeup and hair. With the exception of Trina who had stayed up all night texting her new boyfriend Ryan. Trina was wearing a floral skirt and a new cute white shirt, It was almost like a polo but silky. Tori would never admit it but she loved Trina's outfit it was really well planned out it matched her body type. And it went so nice with her cute sandals. Trina wore her hair down to point out her decent sized breasts.

Tori also really liked Ryan he made Trina smile, he made Trina happy and he treated her nice even though Trina could be really hard to live with sometimes. Ryan was smart, and his long blond hair was tangled and frizzy. Tori began to make her way out of the doorway while Trina and Ryan kissed the life out of each other and Tori started for her locker.

Andre walked up to her smiling like crazy; Tori didn't know that he had a huge crush on her. Every night he stayed awake thinking about her. Like her long hair, Tori thought that it was getting kind of long and frizzy, but Andre, he loved everything about her. He loved the fact that her big brown eyes were like a night sky so beautiful and vast, and when just a little shimmer of light shinned from them, it was like his sunshine. "Andre! Did you finish the history homework on World War II?" She hugged her best friend, and smiled hoping he had the answer for the last question. "Nah. Wanna work on it at lunch?" Tori laughed , as much as Andre loved her she honestly had never felt that way for him. Andre knew tha,t he hated it. "Totally!" Tori replied happily. With that Andre turned around and headed off to his first class, he was wearing his dark jeans low like he always did and an orange t-shirt and now that Tori was paying attention he was one of the few people who didn't dress like a bum today.

Tori had a study-hall so she was free until second period. She was placing her bag in her bright "make it shine" locker when she was shoved into it suddenly. "Hey! That's totally NOT cool." Tori turned around to see Beck with his arm around Jade, smirking at her. Beck had been acting like a jerk since him and Jade had gotten back together. He had bags under his eyes and his teeth had been yellowing, but he really didn't care much. His hair needed cut and his eyes looked as if he wasn't even there only his body was. Jade was wearing her usual leather jacket and pretty much had the same look on her yellowing teeth and un-combed hair. The only difference was Jade was wearing way too much makeup probably to cover up the bags under her own eyes. "Beck that was extremely-…" Tori was cut off. "ewww it talks!" Jade said that to Tori almost every day, she was used to it, had grown immune to it. However those same words had come out of Becks mouth, the same Beck who used to support her. Tori just, shuddered as the Bitch couple walked away Beck's arm still around Jade. Tori shut her locker and began to walk to class, she was trying to steady her breath but she couldn't, she felt a pain in her chest and her eyes began to water but she wouldn't let anyone see her cry, so as she passed by a near janitor's closet she slipped in and locked the door. Tori used to have a huge crush on Beck, so it had really hurt to hear that, her heart shattered just a slight bit. She let the tears streak her face; it was good she had decided against makeup today because it would have been smeared badly. She twirled at her hair a bit before pulling it back into a pony-tail smoothed out her silk top and jeans and walked out.

The rest of the day Tori felt the sting she tried to pretend she was fine but Andre could look into her eyes and just know that there was something bothering her. He confronted her about lunch time "Tori what happened today? You seem really upset." Tori smiled it was nice to have a friend like Andre. "It's just something that Beck said today." Andre frowned, his eyes faded a bit at the mention of Beck, Andre knew that Tori had liked him. "Beck has been a really big Jerk recently, yesterday he made Kat cry." Tori's face fell a little Beck was too nice to be this mean something was going on and Tori was too nosey to stay out. When the final bell rang she ran up to Kat, she was wearing these bright red skinny jeans with the cutest top it was a really cute outfit but for Kat it was a lazy outfit compared to the usual things she wore to school. Tori was planning to go to Kat's house after school "Hey Kat, are you ready for our sleepover?" Kat frowned at Tori "Actually Tori you can't come over my pet unicorn went pee all over my room. I've got to clean it up." Tori's right eyebrow went up in confusion but she obliged and headed back to her house.

**LATER THAT NIGHT….**

Beck and Jade were sitting in the RV just breathing in and out staring out into space. "Are you ready for another dose?" Becks lips curved as he accepted this offer, Jade shot another syringe of heroine up his arm and he was in bliss for another minute or so. Beck had grown so addicted to her not just the drugs, but the sex, and her lies. Everything about her was pulling him in, and he had to have more. He felt her mouth move down his bare chest t unbutton his jeans. "Let's go another round baby." He smiled more than happy to oblige. Beck was toned out of himself for this moment in time but when all the drugs wore off, he cried for hours. There was a whole inside his heart and this was a hole he couldn't fill no matter how hard he tried.

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**Alright my second fanfic! Im super excited and its the middle of summer so updates should be much faster than my last one. I have a lot of ideas for this one guys and I cant wait! With lotsa love**

**-me! **


	2. Chapter 2

Tori woke up the next morning felling refreshed she couldn't put up with Trina last night and all her annoying whining, so she hit the sack early. After of course getting into a fight with her, she sighed stretching her arms out. "Let's see what should I wear today, hmmmm….." she climbed out of bed and trudged her way over to the closet and searched through. "UGH! Why can't I just go naked?" She raised her right eyebrow considering this option just a little, and after a while she broke out into excessive giggling. She pulled out some black skinny jeans and a band t-shirt. "This'll work just fine." She smiled as she made her way over to the mirror fixing her makeup and combing her hair. She started out the door of her room and decided on one more glance in the mirror. "Eh it could be worse."

Tori made her way down the stairs smiling at her dad in his uniform, Trina was of course just as dressed up as yesterday except the fact that she had way to much makeup on. Tori had to keep herself from laughing hysterically, but she didn't say anything in hopes that her older sister would get made fun of at school. "Hey guys can I have some waffles" Tori asked after examining Trina's plate. "Yea there on the counter by the fridge, hon" Tori smiled and poured a boat load of syrup on her plate. "Hurry up Tori god, I'm almost ready to leave." Tori's mother started to laugh. "Not with that make up on you won't." Tori frowned a little between sudden bursts of laughter her mom ruined it.

Beck was waking up in the RV and Jade wasn't beside him, he stood up wobbly from last night and headed to the fridge he took a swig of beer and headed to the bathroom, when he finally showered and got dressed he was wearing black pants and an ACDC t-shirt, he didn't bother putting his chain on he didn't care. The he walked out of the RV to see jade in the car smoking a cigarette. He would have never admitted it but his heart sank a little bit seeing her, but he shook it off and got in the car.

They walked into school hand in hand, and watched as everyone around them left, they walked away from them. It was true that the couple had been unbearable to be around, even the people they use to consider friends pissed them off. To Beck the only person in the world good enough was Jade, but maybe that was the drugs thinking and not him. To Jade there were about four people who were worth something in the world. Josh, Beck, Herself, and Minerva her drug dealer, who was like her god, were everything, though she would never inform Beck of Josh. That was how her messed up life worked, go to Minerva get the drugs, then head over to the RV for a dosage, then she would head over to Josh's have another dosage. It was lucky that Josh lived near Beck, and that even so he didn't go to the same school. If Josh was around to tell Beck of what they did alone in his room, she smiled thinking of this, but then he wouldn't be the same. No, it was better this way, much better.

Tori walked in a few minutes after, starting her day off so well meant that she was going to be happy all day. She smiled almost skipping to her locker. Andre walked up to her nervous but at the same time happy; he had slightly tried to dress up for this occasion. Today he was going to ask Tori to the semi-formal dance. "Hey Tori!" He smiled still nervous. "Hey Andre what's up?" Tori smiled brightly, not 100% listening. "I was wondering if you wanted to go to the semi dance with me next Saturday?" Tori turned her head back towards him smiling. "Sure, I'll go with you. I just have to get something to wear." Andre exploded inside with pure happiness. Tori on the other hand felt a little awkward, she did want to go to the dance with Andre, but she needed to know that it was as a friend, which was all she saw Andre as. Before Tori could ask the first bell rang and he skidded off to class leaving Tori.

Tori didn't even think about the drama of Jade and Beck, until she watched them walk past her in the hall. They slipped into a janitor's closet, and now that she thought about it, the same one she had used the day before. For some reason however, she didn't believe they were using in for the same reason. She wasn't sure what to do, tell the principal? She looked back to her locker her heart a little sunk. She closed her locker quietly, and turned the other way and walked slowly away.

They rest of the day wasn't as happy as she though it would be. After lunch she was in the hallway again going through her locker throwing away random papers, when all of a sudden she was turned around to be facing Beck. He slammed his left hand into the locker beside hers, his arm shaky. Tori's heart sped up to about a hundred miles per second. "Have y..you s..seen Jade?" Tori wanted to run away screaming she knew what she smelled on his breath. Tori had smelled that before, her dad had never had a drinking problem but there was once when he came home drunker than Miley Cyrus. "No. Beck I have to go to… He put his right arm up as if to stop her from going anywhere.

For a while there was just silence, silence and a whole lot of blinking. He reached his hand to her hair. "Y..you cut your hair." Tori looked confused. "Yea Beck I did, three weeks ago." She felt a certain feeling of pity, she finally knew what was going on with him, because her dad had arrested nearly hundreds of people like Beck. "I'll help you find Jade." Tori knew she probably shouldn't, she should call her dad and find him help, but she couldn't find it in herself to pick up the phone. "R…Really? L..Let's go." Beck grabbed her by the hand violently and they left the hall looking for Jade everywhere they could think.

After searching for an hour they found her in the parking lot. But the way they found her Beck didn't want to go up to her. Jade was violently kissing and groping a shaggy black haired boy. Tori's jaw fell, whatever she was expecting to find it wasn't that. Beck took a step but then he fell to the ground balling, gasping for air and all that Tori could do was kneel down and holdhim rocking back and forth.

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**There's my second chapter what a turn of events huh? welp I hope you like it and I totally forgot my disclaimer on the first chapter, but as you probably know, I DO NOT OWN VICTORIOUS. If I did Tori and Beck would be together on tv, just sayin. (sorry Bade lovers lol) anyways time to keep working, so here you go. With lotsa love.**

**-me**


	3. Chapter 3

In about three seconds the messed up world that Beck had built around himself with drugs had fallen to pieces. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't see he felt like he was dying. Tori didn't know what to do she took Beck to her car, she got in the front seat and she drove to the only place she could think of, home. She pulled into the driveway and she helped Beck out of the car. "Beck, I am going to take you around back" She gently slapped his face a few times, to help him be a little more aware of himself. "Beck are you listening? I need you to wait by the back door, my family will be in the living room that's the only way I can slip you in." Tori and Beck walked around back and Tori leaned Beck against the glass on the door. Then as fast as she could she ran around the house and burst in the front door.

"Hey guys, I have a huge history test tomorrow and I'm not feeling to good so I'll be in my room" Tori's mom smiled at her tedious student. "Alright hon we'll be out here." Her warm brown eyes were soft, and kind. Tori almost felt bad for lying to her, but it was for a friend, so she would do whatever it took to help him.

Before she made it to her room she stopped by the back door and helped Beck in,he literally fell on her he was to weak to walk to shattered to even make it to her room alone. Tori was glad when she finally made it to her room because Beck was now extremely shaky, she couldn't hold him anymore so she dropped him to the floor. Tori wasn't stupid, though she had never done drugs before, she knew what withdrawal would be like, but it was Tuesday there was no way she could take care of him for long. Tori glanced down at Beck now passed out on the floor. Now she knew why his hair had needed cut now she knew why this beautiful person just gave up on himself, she shook her head she needed to think. Although he was passed out now, she knew he wouldn't be for long she knew what she had to do to help him.

Later Tori was downstairs at the dinner table picking at her food, it was her favorite too. "Mom I still feel terrible." Tori put just a sight strain on her voice as she said that. "Awe really hon, well I hope you feel better tomorrow. You've been studying so hard for the history test." Tori left the tabled her food untouched, and headed upstairs. Tori had only had to fake being sick once, but for Beck she would do it every day for a year if she had to.

Tori headed back upstairs after passing on an argument with Trina; as much as she didn't want to she had to make the illness believable. Tori walked into her room and locked her door behind her, Beck was awake. Tori took in a deep breath. "Beck?" He was whispering something, but Tori couldn't quite make it out. "They're all over me, I can feel them moving, get them off of me, they scare me…. TORI!...please they're all over me, GET THEM OFF!" Tori was terrified, she had no idea what to do. Beck was whipping at his clothes swapping at invisible bugs. Tori knew she was way over her head, how could a teenager help someone get off an addiction like heroine. There wasn't anyway, she needed an adult.

"Tori, get….get them off." Beck looked up at her crying, his brown eyes were cutting into her like a sharp knife cut into fish. Tori sat down beside him and just rocked him back and forth for a few hours until the hysteria turned into vomiting. All night was just rocking calming him down. The only adult she knew that would help her was about three blocks away. After Tori convinced her parents that she was sick they would go there together.

Jade was the RV searching everywhere for Beck, her black hair was a mess tangled up and uncombed. Her leather jacket had been puked on, she had just barely been able to stumble to the RV, and now she had to stumble back to Josh's. She slipped and fell on the concrete ripping her black jeans. Then all of a sudden she heard a car turn on the road she tried to get up but she was way too shaky for that. "Ma'am are you alright?" Jade turned around and to her surprise a police car was stopped right behind her. The driving officer was taller than the one riding passenger. He had an army cut with nice think black hair. "Ummmm w…well uuummm n..no off…officer." The officers looked at each other and then back at Jade. "Ma'am how much have you had to drink?" Jade's eyes widened, and she hiccupped. "Well shit!"

The next morning Tori and Beck had gotten absolutely no sleep but Beck was much better, still shaking and throwing up, but still better. Tori had nice bags under her eyes from staying up so she pinched her cheeks really hard to get them nice and red, then she splashed a bunch of water in her eyes. To get them red as well and when she looked in the mirror she really did look as sick as a dog. She swished really hot water around in her mouth. She helped Beck into her bathroom and sat him on the toilet. "Alright Beck my mom's going to be in here you need to stay as quiet as possible." He slowly nodded his head in agreement. she closed the door and climbed in bed calling for her mom.

"Hey hon, still not feeling to good?" Tori shook her head. Tori had done a pretty good job of making herself look sick, even she would have told herself to stay home. Tori's mom took her temperature, and shook the thermometer before clucking and shaking her head. "Sorry Tori, a hundred and two degrees, you gotta stay home." Tori mentally smiled, but physically frowned. "Are you sure mom my test?" "I guess it'll have to wait for tomorrow." With that her mom left the room.

Then Tori listened for the hustle and bustle of everyone leaving the house. Tori still waited about fifteen minutes just in case. Then she stood up went to the other room and got some of her dad's old clothes. "Beck come on, we got to get you in the shower." Beck looked up at her. "W…Why? Where are we going?" He looked up confused but he stood up taking his shirt off. "We're going to a friend's she's going to help you." Tori left the room after turning on the water and sprayed herself with perfume she cleaned up her room which smelled like pure throw up and she hid his dirty clothes in her closet, she would wash them separately so no one would know.

When Tori heard the water turn off she knocked on the door lightly. "Are you alright Beck?" In the bathroom Beck was looking in the mirror at his reflection. He wanted to hit it, he could barely stand what he had become, what he had let himself become. "I'm fine Tori." He got dressed in the old t-shirt and blue jeans and walked out of the room. For a minute he just watched as Tori bustled around the room fixing everything. She put pillows in the covers of the bed, and cleaned up everything. Then Tori turned around and just stared into his eyes, the Beck that she knew so well was starting to come back to her and she wouldn't let him go again.

"Are you ready?" Tori smiled at him, and he couldn't help but wonder why. Why was she helping him? He was a total asshole to her, but still she was willing to help him. "Yea, whenever you are." Beck still felt terrible he was shaky, and he ached everywhere. He no longer saw bugs everywhere but it was like something had its hands around his lungs and was squeezing extremely hard. After they slipped out of the house and into her car, she drove him three blocks away to the only adult she trusted with a problem like this.

Beck had no idea where she was headed, for all he knew they were running away together. Then Tori pulled into the driveway of a blue two story house with a white picket fence. Then things began to get complicated.

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**Welp I stayed up until literally 6:41 in the morning to finish this chapter so it may not be as good as the others. Sorry. Please just let me know if it suck I promise I'll rewrite it! Anyways Enjoy guys. With lotsa love**

**-me**


	4. Chapter 4

Tori pulled Beck out of the passenger seat and began to walk him up to the house; she opened the annoyingly white fence and walked up to the door knocking softly. They waited on the porch outside as they heard soft bustling from inside and watched as the door opened. Tori smiled "Doctor Minnie, I really need your help." Tori walked into the house with Beck around her shoulder.

Doctor Minnie was Tori's old doctor, the only adult she trusted with matters that were important. The only reason being that almost a year ago Tori really thought she was pregnant, an accident that shouldn't have happened. Tori had to tell her doctor, thinking that the doctor would tell her parents she freaked out a bit, but it was kept a secret from everyone.

Doctor Minnie was tall and slim, and blonde with her hair slicked back into a thick ponytail. She was wearing light jeans and a worn out old t-shirt. It almost looked as if she just woke up, hell she probably did. "What's up Tori?" Tori bit her lip; the only thing she could think was 'how do you tell someone that the guy you have a crush on is a heroin addict?' she was at a loss of words.

"Doctor Minnie, this is my friend Beck. He needs help that I can't give him alone." Doctor Minnie glanced over to Tori's right examining Beck from head to toe. "What's wrong?" Tori took a deep breath and tried to steady her heartbeat. She looked into Doctor Minnie's eyes and slowly started to explain. "Beck has an addiction problem, with heroin. My parents don't know I'm here but I needed an adult."

Doctor Minnie shook her head as if she understood but how could she? "Alright well bring him in I'll get him a glass of water." Beck was shocked that an adult would be so willing to help a failure like him, everything Beck had built up had been knocked down, and he had no one to blame but himself. "First thing's first we need to let his parents know." Tori's face fell, and she started to protest. Beck loved the way she tried to protect him, her warm brown eyes swelled up with tears before he stopped her. "My parents already know…. God I was such a jerk to them." Tori wrapped her arm around him she loved how the Beck she knew and loved was coming back to her. And as she was thinking this her mind froze, she had used the word loved, and Tori realized something while the doctor and Beck made their way to the back, she realized why she was helping him in the first place.

Jade was being held in a cell watched by police officers, her mom was there. Here family was trying to bail her out but the police were having a hard time letting her go under the influence of drugs and alcohol. Personally Jade didn't give a shit either way; she looked over at her temporary cell mate. Her long rat's nest of hair was jet black, her eyes were green, and if she hadn't had so many drugs in her system she might even be considered pretty. Jade realized she was getting extremely horny and wanted Beck, but he wasn't at his RV last night and this had Jade pissed, how could he stand her up?

Tori was standing on the porch nervously pulling at her sleeves, she had finally admitted to herself that she had been in love with Beck before he hit the rough patch in his life. She used to day dream about holding beck at night or him holding her, but in the dreams he wasn't throwing up violently. Beck's mother opened the door. Tori smiled trying not to look worried much. "Hi Mrs. Oliver, I'm Tori Doctor Minnie called and told you I was on my way over." Beck's mother looked as if she had been crying, and that she could easily start again. She wrapped her arms around Tori and squeezed her hard. "Thank you." Her voice was warm and soft, it reminded Tori of Beck's.

With that Tori made her way to the RV with the spare key and a few cleaning supplies. Tori was going to clean this RV top to bottom even if it took all day. Cleaning she found syringes and empty beer bottles and all kinds of stuff that was just dirty. She scrubbed the carpet she took dirty clothes up the house so that Mrs. Oliver could get them clean she got rid of all the alcohol in the house, and everything smelled lemony when she was done.

Tori was exhausted after she was done so she just plopped on the nice clean bed and sighed heroin rehab took usually three to four weeks. Everything was going to be hard for Beck, but at least he had someone like Doctor Minnie to help him out. Tori almost fell asleep until she remembered what she needed to buy. A dress.

Tori finished up everything and said goodbye to Beck. Then she headed back on home were Trina was just showing up. Trina was in too happy a mood to realize her sister hadn't been home all day. Tori made it up to her room and she turned on her computer and played her newest track.

**(1) You know that I'm a crazy bitch I do what want when I feel like it, all I wanna do is lose control, but you don't really give a shit you go with, you go with, you go with it cause your fucking crazy rock 'n' roll. And that's why, I smile it's been a while since every day and everything have felt this right, and now you turning it around, and suddenly you're all I need the reason why I, I smile.**

Then as she herd her mom enter the room she climbed into bed and pretended to have never gotten up.

The next morning she got up and went to school and it went slowly, she didn't see Beck or Jade in the hallway at all, she knew where Beck was but she wanted to know were Jade was. Tori wanted to rip her heart out of her chest, to let her know what Beck had felt yesterday. However Jade was nowhere to be found. So Tori made her way to classes cracking jokes about were Jade was with Andre until Sikowitz's class.

Andre, and Tori I want you to pay a married couple but she wants to get a divorce and he wants to stay wow us or you'll get an F.

**"Oh Linda why would you leave a broken man more broken than he is?" Tori put her arm on his right shoulder. "Mark it's just not meant to be, I've found love in someone else." Andre got to his knees. "LINDA! Beg of you never leave me." It's already done Mark" Andre bowed his head. "Then at least allow me to bestow one last kiss on you." He leaned in for a kiss and his heart was pounding. **

The bell rang and Tori and Andre began to pack their stuff up and move. "That was pretty good Andre, I really felt that you wanted to kiss me." Andre just frowned. "Oh and about Saturday a family emergency came up I can't make it to the dance, I'm sorry." Andre's heart fell that was where he was going to tell her everything. "Whatever, there will be other dances." Tori smiled. "Thanks I knew you would understand" With that Tori walked out of the classroom.

The next few weeks moved by and everyday Tori went to visit Beck; it wasn't long before he was able to come home and she was ready to take him home.

**(1) Smile by Avril Lavigne **

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**Here it is let me know what you guys think! I love you! with lotsa love**

**-me**


	5. Chapter 5

Tori stood awkwardly on the front porch waiting for Beck to exit the house, Doctor Minnie had explained to her that even though he had been through the first steps of withdraw, without a proper base he would fall into deep depression. Tori wouldn't let that happen, she had finally admitted to herself that when he was supportive and not under the influence, she was in love with him. When he was, however her heart shattered into a billion small pieces and she couldn't help but feel pity for him. The few weeks of treatment had felt like years apart and even though she thought he didn't feel that way for her she held on to the hope of them being together.

Beck walked out the front door and saw Tori standing there. She was his rock of pure strength. He couldn't see her breaking down ever. Beck couldn't help but just stare at her, he had these brown eyes that were very attractive sure, but hers were like heaven. Her blue shorts and white tank top showed off her body enough to make boys that were randomly passing by smirk, wink, and worst of all thought Beck, whistle.

Tori smiled trying to fill the silence, he looked so much better, cleaner, but yet sadder. "You ready to go home?" Beck shook his head trying so hard to keep his eyes on hers, and not to wonder down. "To the RV?" Beck voice trailed off into a whisper remembering what used to happen there. "Yeah. I mean unless you want to go somewhere else?" He shook his head no, and put his hands in his pockets. Tori waved to Doctor Minnie turned to face the car. "Well whenever you're ready." Tori went to take a step toward the car and tripped on a small stone, Beck not wanting to let her fall reached his arms out and she fell on to him.

If anyone had been passing by they would've maybe classified Tori as a slut. Beck was under Tori, her head on his shoulder, and when they realized this they both looked at each other. Suddenly it didn't matter that cars were passing by watching with distrust, or perhaps assumption. They were lost in each other, unable to think or breathe, or even break eye contact. So Beck and Tori stayed like that for about five minutes and Tori stood up helping Beck.

"Sorry bout that. I can be so clumsy sometimes" she said trying to hide the blush, it was hard to hide bright pink cheeks. Beck saw her cheeks but he was too busy hiding his own to say something to her. So they walked and she got to the driver door and paused to take a steady breathe. It wasn't exactly easy to fall on the guy you love, that doesn't love you back, without letting your heart beat to fast.

So they drove to his RV in her parent's car, to think when they met the first thing he ever noticed was her smile. Tori used her smile constantly she loved laughing she loved life. She was his mountain standing strong with a hurricane booming around her. "T…Tori." She smiled at him. "Yes?" He took a deep breathe, what did he want to say? How did he want to word it?

"I just wanted to say…Thank you….and I'm so sorry I hurt you." She pulled into the driveway and looked at him. "Beck, you know that even if you murdered someone, I would never turn away from you, never." K felt tears swelling up in his eyes but he didn't want to cry, so he reached over to open the door, hiding his face while a tear slid down his cheek.

Tori was at the door of the RV and she pulled out a key to open the door, letting Beck in. "Wait Tori don't go in there it's a mess." Tori smiled to herself in victory. "Alright you can go in then." So Beck walked in to the RV, and his jaw dropped. Everything was so neat. No bear bottles, no syringes, no trash, heck even his fucking bed was made and washed. Tori stepped in after him smiling, he turned to her and hugged her hard. Tori hugged him back and whispered to him softly. "I think I love you." Beck's eyes widened. "Tori I don't…

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**Ohhhhhh cliff hanger. I'm sorry guys, you have to hate me. Let me explain first our wiffi broke so I couldn't post it, then I reread it and wanted to change it and got sme writers block. Then marching band started and im sooo tired all the time after marching in this heat. BUT I STILL LOVE YOU GUYS HOPE YOU STILL LOVE ME!**

**Lotsa love**

**-me**


	6. Chapter 6

"Tori I don't like myself right now how is I that you can love me." Beck lowered his head, he was trying so hard to be strong. Tori smiled she had actually daydreamed of this for hours last night, she reached down and pulled the bottom of her pink t-shirt until it was off. Beck's eyes went wide and he started protest he wasn't good enough for tori. "Tori we can't you can't be…." "Beck relax I want you to make a Tori burger." Beck looked confused. "You aren't yourself right now, or at least you don't feel like it, so let's bring out the real you." She hoped up on to the counter of his kitchen a laid back. He smiled and for the first time in a long time he laughed, he actually giggled.

He took a picture of Tori's stomach, it had ketchup and mustard and lettuce all the things he really did like on his burger. Of course Beck would never eat such an attractive burger. Tori was laughing, she had said that it tickled the entire time. Beck helped clean off her stomach, and helped her down, they were both laughing so hard. "Feel a little more like yourself yet?" He smiled at her. "Why are you helping me?" She looked at him her smile had faded. "I honestly didn't know until I realized that I loved you, you supported me, and you used to stand with me. I was heartbroken when you started using, but I had no idea that it was because you own my heart." Now his smile had faded at the thought that he broke her heart, he had hurt her. "I love you too…." Tori smiled and hugged him. "I promise, even if you fall again I'll be there to catch you." They hugged and he squeezed her tight, they stayed that way while he cried.

Tori had planned a night with Kat and Andre, so Tori drove Beck and herself to the Karaoke-doki. Beck was nervous and scared he had hurt every one of his friends what was he supposed to do just say sorry and hope that everything was going to be ok when he knew it wouldn't he was close to turning around and leave when Tori put her hand on his knee. "Remember to be yourself; they love you almost as much as I do." She smiled at him and he smiled back and they went in. Andre and Kat were sitting at a table close to the stage they would expect Tori and Kat to sing of course. Which she wouldn't mind doing at all but she would want to sing it to Beck she would have to sing it to Beck.

"Kat, Andre!" Tori ran up and hugged them both, and whispered in their ear. "Beck's with me be nice." Andre's face fell. He wasn't exactly happy that the girl he loved was dating someone else. Beck walked up to the tabled and Kat ran up and hugged him hard. Beck smiled he was feeling like himself more every minute. "Hey Kat how's your brother?" Tori and Andre laughed and joined the hug, sure Andre didn't like the fact that Beck was dating Tori, but he sure was happy to have his friend back. "So Tori you up for a song?" Andre asked hopeful he wanted to sing a love song with her so badly he daydreamed about it. "I am but I have to sing it alone I'll sing a duet with you after ok?" Andre smiled hopeful, he didn't realize it would be a song for Beck, heck he kind of hoped it was for him.

**All I ever wanted…wanted…wanted **

**You and ME **

**All I ever wanted was to see you smiling**

**All I ever wanted was to make you mine**

**I know that I love you, oh baby why don't you see**

**That all I ever wanted was you and me**

(Through the instrumental Tori laughed and danced until she totally forgot where she was)

**You're in my head, I want you in my bed**

**All I ever wanted was you and me**

**Oh baby please won't you see,**

**All ever wanted was to see you smiling,**

**Was to make you mine,**

**I know that I love you**

**Won't you SEEEEEEE!**

**You and me. **(1)

When the song ended she hoped of the stage and went to Beck he was smiling and laughing and she finally saw him be himself. All she wanted was for him to love himself it was almost too much to ask for after what happened. Jade couldn't love him she had to go to someone else she would never do that to him. Not to the only person she had really loved, even though she had thought she loved Ethan. She shook her head she had promised to never think about him ever, and she would keep that promise especially with Beck around.

But none of them were expecting the events that were coming sat, because someone else sat at a table in the back. Jade owed her a debt and someone was going to pay it even if she was in jail, and she knew that Beck also used the drugs Jade bought. So she would make Beck pay for them, all 6,000$ she would get it, she didn't care if Beck was clear or not, Minerva always got what she wanted. ALWAYS!

Tori and Beck got in the car laughing they had an amazing night, and as Tori drove back to the RV Beck looked over to her and just smiled she was everything he wanted to become, everything he wanted to have for himself. "Tori, be my girlfriend." He didn't realize how stupid it sounded until he said it. However she didn't think it was stupid at all; no she was so excited she almost squealed. "Of course Beck, I love you." They were both smiling without stop the entire ride home.

When they got to the RV they both knew what they wanted to do, so Beck wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close. He attacked her in tons of kisses, and between them were bursts of laughter from both of them. It went from just kisses, to biting each other's lip, to ravishing each other's tongues. Her hand found its way up his shirt and his was pulling at her jeans and her heart pounded and screamed over and over yes. The thing that stopped her was her head screaming no. "Beck." She put both her hands on his chest he was breathing almost as heavy as her. "I can't, I'm sorry, I just can't."

He dropped his hands, as much as his heart screamed yes you can keep going, he had to understand if he didn't it would end up exactly like with Jade. "I'm sorry." He backed off, Tori bit her lip. "No! Don't be sorry I just can't have sex with you I wish I could explain but I can't. I'm the one that's sorry." Beck grabbed her and just hugged her he wanted to just take her right there but he understood he honestly did. The passion and emotion he felt in those thirty seconds could hold him off until she was ready. He smiled at her and kissed his Tori goodbye. So she headed out to her car smiling and in love.

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** (1)basshunter all I ever wanted**

**Okay guys here are this chapter so things are progressing and getting heated up. Woop woop! Guys if you ever think a chapter sucks I can re-write any of them. SO HERE IT IS THE END TO THE CLIF HANGER MADNESS! Sorry about that by the way I decided to write a cliff hanger the day before I left for band camp. Well I love you guys.**

**Lotsa love,**

**Me **


	7. Chapter 7

Tori woke up at exactly eight in the morning it was Saturday but it wasn't a day for sleeping in she wanted to hang all day with Beck. She stood up and walked to the bathroom, she wanted to take a long shower to wake herself up.

Now Tori always thought of the shower as her secret place, to cry or giggle, talk to herself, or especially to cry. Even while she dated Ethan and they were at his house alone, she never took up his offer to shower together. It would always just be her private place to think. The shower was the place she was able to cry after he raped her. Ethan was her first love she thought he'd be her only love.

She shook her head violently, after an entire year Tori still didn't feel clean. She remembered so clearly,

**Tori was on her way to Ethan's she was smiling ear to ear. She loved him so much, it was easy to see why he was the right height, with a bright smile, blue eyes and amazing blond hair. Tori didn't see his parent's car in the driveway like usually. Tori had never actually gone all the way with him, but she knew that eventually when she was ready she wanted him to be her first. She slid in his front door, and made her way to his room and knocked.**

Tori shook her head under the water her heart screamed at her through the pain of remembering. She turned off the water, and stood in front of the mirror wearing nothing but a towel. "You are so ugly, you should've stopped him, why didn't you?" She insulted herself to hold back the tears she had been so happy when she woke up and pain had ruined it for her.

Beck was waiting for Tori at the theatre he was smiling, and though it had been months he knew he shouldn't be this happy, not after rehab. However he was he was bright he started telling jokes and he just loved life it was amazing, for the first time in a long time her just felt right. He couldn't explain it to himself he just had awesome friends and an amazing girlfriend. As he thought of her amazing beauty he watched as she pulled up smiling, happy and just bubbly. She got out of the car and ran to him hugging and kissing him. It was almost as if they came together as one as soon as they met.

They watched the scary movie and Tori pretended to be scared at the right parts so that beck could cuddle up to her. Andre and Kat sat behind them not even noticing them. And for a while everything was perfect but later that day everything would fall apart, and everything started tumbling right there when Andre noticed Tori in front of him. Andre almost said something almost reached out and hugged her, until another scary part came up and he watched her snuggle up to, whom else but Beck. He couldn't wrap around his brain what she saw in him. He went on drugs, he was a jerk to her, and for god's sakes he slept with fucking Jade every night for a while. The thought hit him that he was probably sleeping with Tori, and she didn't mind, it severely pissed him off and he started to grit his teeth holding back screams of anger. "Andre…" Kat whined to him. "This movie is too scary can we please go I don't like it." She was squeezing her stuffed unicorn that she had brought with a look of terror in her eyes. Andre smiled at her. "Yeah, come on Little Red." He grabbed her hand and walked her out the door.

With Andre gone it was an amazing date though they never noticed his appearance at all. With diner after the movie and an awesome moonlight walk around the neighborhood, this was probably against the law. So it wasn't a shock when they both went back to the RV afterwards, Tori was so happy, so giggly that she didn't really feel her warning radar beep loud and clear. Tori didn't realize just then that she didn't know if she could stop it when things escalated to where they did the other night, or if she was even ready to let them escalate that far. However as I said she was so happy smiling from ear to ear, she didn't stop to think, and neither did Beck. He did as he always did, he went with the flow.

As they entered the RV they were laughing and having fun telling jokes. Suddenly things weren't in Tori's control anymore and at first she loved it. Pecks on the cheek went to long kisses, long kisses went to making out, until he had her hands pinned on the bed and each other's hands were roaming in places Tori's hadn't been in a while. The passion alone could've lighten up an entire city and at first she loved it, but like with all things you have no control over, she lost her balance and memories just slid right in her head.

**He opened the door smiling himself, their hug lasted for what seemed like hours they hadn't seen each other in an entire week which was weird for them. They sat in his bed as she talked about school, he played with her hair, and she loved it when he did that. She felt as if she could float, and when he suggested that they go all the way, it was a yes no hesitation, at first. He had her hands held down, not over her head but to her sides it felt comfortable, it felt right. They were kissing and he had managed to get her down to her bra and underwear. But right then she got scared, and she remembered saying "Ethan I've changed my mind, let's just stop I don't want…" She also remembered being cut off by his hands roaming over her breast, she tried to push him off several times, and giggles became screams, and laughs became tears as he forced her hands above her head. He exposed himself and…..**

"Beck I can't" Tori attempted to force him off but he was too far along to stop and then she realized he had her hands the same way Ethan had them at first. Tori was frightened and she pushed him off on to the floor. "Beck I can't do this!" She had tears streaking her face as she covered herself back in her clothes. Beck didn't understand all he knew was that he wanted this, he wanted her and god damn, he was used to having it every night from Jade.

Beck stood up and turned away pain on his face. "I don't know what you expect from me Tori." Tori looked to the floor there was nothing else she could really say but, "I don't expect anything from you." Beck frowned at her. "Then why are you playing games with me, if I were still with Jade…" That made her look up at him, where was his head at, and frankly she was shocked he said something as stupid as that. "You know what Beck I'm not Jade, I don't give you drugs, I don't mess around with other boys and I love you. I'm nothing like her and until you realize that you can go and fuck yourself, not me!" She grabbed her jacket and stomped out the door, and as Beck watched her leave he actually realized what he had said and looked down at his feet whispering, "I love you too."

Tori walked home, Beck was her ride and there was no way she was excepting it home she was crying makeup covering her cheeks, she thought that she had lost the person who had become her everything. The worst thing is that for a while there everything was perfect, hell everything was great just yesterday, but today was hell. Andre pulled u to her and opened the door. "Need a ride?"

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**Welp there it is. Sooo sorry for the wait guys I know I piss you off sometimes BUT YOU HAVE TO STILL LOVE ME! Cause I still love you lol. tell me if you guuys don't like it, but um yeah. Also guys, guess what. I GOT MY FRST REQUEST FOR A JOINT STORY! I can't wait to start on it, I'm SUPER EXCITED.**

**But don't worry Me no stop on this story, lol**

**lotsa love,**

**Me**


	8. Chapter 8

** I just wanted to say that I LOVE YOU GUYS! I know that I suck at updating on a timely matter, but I still have sooooo many followers. AND I LOVE IT! Lol Thanks for all the great comments guys. I have a few more chapters left so hang tight.**

**DISCLAIMER: Nope still don't own victorious. (Wish I did!)**

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Tori blinked a few times wondering how in the hell Andre was there at all the right times. She smiled up at him his dark skin almost blending in with the night, his hair damp from the rain. He was wearing jeans as always and a t-shirt that just said hers. Tori had always thought the t-shirt was cute because his ex-girlfriend had one too. However that relationship had been over for about three months now so she wondered why he wore it tonight.

Tori slipped into the passenger seat hair dripping with water droplets almost as heavily as her eyes were. She looked like a drown rat the curls had faded out of her hair, and the cute outfit she wore that night to impress Beck was most likely ruined. "So why didn't Beck give you a ride home?" Tori cringed as Andre said his name. Andre saw it even as she tried to hide it. "Well we got into a bit of a fight." Andre didn't want to feel relieved in fact he wanted to feel sad for her, and he tried so damn hard to.

"Really? What about?" Andre bit down hard on his lip to keep from smiling. Tori looked at him, as awesome as she thought he was being to her, she didn't want him to know. Tori felt as if it was her fault; she knew what Beck had been doing for the past year. How could he so abruptly stop having sex whenever he wanted? Perhaps it was too much to ask of him, but if it were why was it that Beck felt ten times worse than Tori did?

"I don't want to talk about it Andre." Andre frowned what happened to being her best friend, what happened to being trusted with everything. God damn it, he wanted to be hers! He looked over to her, she was dripping on his seats and soaked to the core, but he could literally feel her heart closing up to him. She was still so gorgeous.

Suddenly the rain abruptly stopped, and Andre pulled over taking Tori's hand and helping her out of the car. Tori and Andre had made it to her house, but lately she had felt more at home in Beck's RV. So as she stared blankly at a house that was empty to her, Andre leaned in a=for a kiss just one kiss and he would be happy, just one.

All Tori did was turn her head and a kiss was forced on her. Andre had kissed her, and all she could feel was pain, she wanted Beck. The kiss wasn't bad, but it sure as hell wasn't anything near Beck's warm lips that tasted of coffee and….that thought was frozen as she melted into the kiss.

Beck just wanted to make sure she got home safe, so when he pulled up to the house to see Tori and Andre kissing you could imagine the shock. Slowly he tried to hold his heart in, because it felt like it wanted to fall out of his chest. "So, you guys enjoying yourself?" Tori broke away just in time to see Beck turn around and begin to walk away. "Beck! Wait! Please don't leave" Tori tried to grab his hand but he slapped her away getting into the car and driving away. And slowly she felt her heart break into pieces once again.

She turned around sadness and furry flooding her eyes and she walked up to Andre. "How dare you!" She slapped him hard knowing she not only bruised his face, but also her hand. "Hey I seem to remember you kissing me back." Andre exclaimed as he watched her fade away into someone he didn't know. Tori started pounding on his chest. "I was so fucking sad and vulnerable you bastard! You took advantage of me in a time that I needed warmth." He hadn't thought of it like that and when he did all he felt was grief. "Look I'm sorry, but we can still make this work. I love you!" Andre smiled as he said this, but Tori sneered at him. "I hate you Andre, get away from me!" She pushed him away and ran to her house.

Andre stood there in the dark this is not how he imagined this, he cursed under his breathe. Andre knew he had messed everything up, and he also knew that he had to fix it. There was no question, he had to talk to Beck and he had to fix things before it was too late.

The next day was Sunday and it was a day that the gang had arranged to meet at Karaoke Doki. So Kat sat at their table and waited, and waited, until finally Tori showed up. Now Tori only came so that she could talk to Beck, and when Andre walked in she almost left until she got an amazing idea. It was going to hurt him, but she honestly didn't care anymore.

She got up on stage got the mike, and waited for the stereos to blare.

_Ba da ba da da b aba da_ (4x)

_I shoulda known when I got you alone,_

_That you were way to into me to know,_

_This isn't love boy this ain't even close,_

_But you always think we're something that we're not,_

_And now you call me every single night,_

_I only answer cause I'm to polite,_

_Yeah you always make it hard for me stop,_

_And you think we're something that we're not._

_Don't wanna be more than just friends,_

_I can't go through this again, _

_Stop trying to get inside my head, _

_Don't wanna do more than hangout,_

_It's getting stupid cause I shoulda known but I forgot,_

_That you think we're something that we're not_

_Ba da ba da da ba ba da _(4x)

(1)

Tori finished the song and handed over the mike looking over at the table Andre was smiling, and she wanted to know why. Truth was he thought that was awesome, it was definitely her style, and he loved it he loved her, but since he loved her he couldn't keep hurting her so he decided to give up on her. They were always meant to just be friends, no matter how much he enjoyed the kiss.

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**(1) Demi Lavato something that we're not**

**Well there you are another update. TELL ME IF IT SUCKS. I feel as though it might be a bit rushed but I'm not sure….. but yeah. I love you guys and yeah….sooooo hope you enjoyed more to come.**

**Lotsa love,**

**Me**


	9. Chapter 9

Andre walked up to the Rv clenching his fist. How in the world do you tell your best friend that your sorry for kissing his girlfriend? On that same thought how do you tell him that it wasn't her fault. Andre ran his hand through his hair, he messed everything up. Sure he loved kissing Tori he really did, but hated seeing the hurt in Beck's eyes, he hated seeing the pain in Tori's. Besides he would have other loves, well he hoped he would have other loves.

Beck sat on his bed, tears streaking down his cheeks, he turned his head when he heard the knock, now beck was heartbroken he hadn't opened the door all weekend for fear that it was Tori behind the door waiting for him. Beck never wanted to confront her again, so instead he sat there a broken bottle on the floor and a lit cigarette beside him. Andre had known that Beck was home however. He didn't know how he knew, he just did. So instead of waiting at the front door all day he opened it and walked right in.

Now from the look on Beck's face it was obvious that Andre was the last-person Beck wanted to see,, or perhaps the second to last. However Andre stood his ground, and stayed right at the front door until he opened his mouth. "Beck we need to tlk." Beck rolled his eyes and gawked. "You want to talk? Alright let's talk. You were my best friend once you know. Andre blinked back the tears. "Beck, you can't blame Tori for this." Beck stood up pacing and clenching his fists. "I can do whatever I want!" he growled out of grit teeth.

By this time Andre was starting to lose hope, until he noticed the broken bottle on the floor. Remembering what Tori had done to make sure Beck was sober; he found a new source of energy, anger. With furry in his eyes he had a lot to say. "How dare you?" he said pointing to the bottle. "Not only has Tori been there for you at a time when everyone else despised you, but she made sure your ass was sober!" Beck cringed he knew the truth, but it was still hard to her. "Now look at you your nothing without her! And god damn it, she loves you!" Beck tried to cut him off but Andre wasn't done. "Shut up! You don't even know the truth! I kissed Tori that night, she hated me afterwards, but I had to know."

Beck frowned and furrowed his brow. "Know what Andre? How to break my heart, or get my girl or lose a friend or maybe you wanted to know…" Now it was Andre's turn to cut him off. "What it felt like to kiss someone you had fallen in love with." Andre looked down at his baggy jeans. " I'm sorry Beck. I never meant to lose you. I was stupid I knew it would hurt you but I still did it. And I never meant to hurt Tori."

Beck was speechless, how in the hell was he supposed to stay mad at Andre. He knew what it felt like to be confused and in love. "I forgive you." Andre sighed in relief smiling. "Please forgive Tori, she only kissed me because she was hurt." Beck smiled scratching his head. "Andre I forgave her that night. I'm just so lost first she doesn't want to make love to me and then she kisses someone else. So why is it that I'm not good enough for her?" Andre smiled he hurt inside but he did his best to hide it. "Why don't you just ask her?" Beck smiled and hugged his best friend. "Just so you know I couldn't do it." Andre looked confused. "What?" Beck smiled shaking his head slightly. "I tried to drink my pain away but I couldn't even take one sip, so I threw it." Andre squeezed tighter, he loved Beck, he was his brother. Maybe not literally but in every way that counted they were family. So he stayed longer than he needed to, and he helped Beck clean up the broken glass.

Beck and Andre had always gotten along, so it wasn't a shock that they were friends again after just an afternoon. Andre smiled as he left the RV, he had managed to fix something for once in his life. Sure he was the one to mess it up in the first place but he wasn't going to let that ruin his good mood. Andre wasn't paying attention as he excited so it wasn't a surprise when he ran into someone.

As he was falling on this stranger he tried to catch himself but only ended up right on top of the blonde stranger. She had short hair, and blue eyes her light skin was a contrast to his dark skin. She was thin enough to be a literal toothpick and she was perfect. Suddenly Andre felt more right than when he was kissing Tori.

The girl had small breasts, not that she needed them she was already so pretty. Her blue eyes were clear and thoughtful, like an ocean of thoughts, her smile bright enough to light a city. "Hey do you think you could get off? You're sorta crushing me?" Andre stood up snapping out of it and of course, helping the girl. After accepting the help she was offered she let out a laugh she didn't sound like she was a girl to giggle. "Hey don't worry about it, I'm Gwen by the way." Only now did Andre notice what she was wearing, a black t-shirt that said his with some neon green skinny jeans and a chain.

"I'm Andre it's nice to meet you." Andre smiled at her as Beck walked out seeing both of them. He noticed the look in his cousin's eyes she liked Andre. "I see you two have met." Gwen laughed again which for the record Andre thought was sexy as hell. "Yeah we might've had a run in with each other." Andre smiled at her sense of humor.

Beck continued to put on his own chain and looked at both of them. They looked good together despite her light skin and eyes compared to his dark skin and brown eyes. "Alright I've got to run you two are welcome to stay here and wait though I'm not sure how long I'll be." Gwen looked at him and shrugged her shoulders. "Alright cuz, see you when you get back I guess." She looked at Andre. "aYou want to play some video games I brought my xbox?" Andre smiled there was nothing in the world he wanted more. "Yeah let's do it." They both smiled as they made their way to her car to retrieve the small tv and the xbox.

By the time they had the game all started Beck was long gone and Gwen risked a glance at Andre, she found him sexy as hell with his baggy jeans and eyes that sparkled. Andre caught her looking at him and she smiled, you see Gwen was not the kind of girl to blush. She saw what she wanted and she went for it.

"So Andre how do you know Beck?" Gwen mentally kicked herself, she thought to herself "who cares how he know my cousin? JUST KISS HIM!" But she figured that would be inappropriate considering the fact that they just met. "Well I'm one of his friends from school." Andre sighed to himself his head screaming to just kiss her. "So who is your t-shirt about?" Andre asked pointing to it. Gwen froze for a split second of all the days she could've worn his t-shirt she had to pick today. "My ex-boyfriend. I had these t-shirts made after a month of dating." She paused the game and set the controller down to look at him. "And then after three years of dating we called it off." Andre leaped inside. "Oh. So are you wearing it because you're not over him?" Gwen smirked and rolled her eyes. "No it was a mutual decision, Tyler was a nice guy and all but we were starting to fall apart. We were just to different, music was my life, and his was video games. Don't get me wrong as you can tell I like video games, but I'm not obsessed with them like he was. I love music however, and he wasn't that big a fan of any of my music, so it just didn't work." She took a deep breathe at remembering Tyler, damn it had been like three months since they broke up. "I only keep this t-shirt because you never know I might meet a really cute and sweet guy with a "Hers à" t-shirt from a past relationship." Andre smiled as she told him this, and he started to think why he kept his t-shirt. Maybe mentally it was for the same reason she did, maybe he knew in his heart something like this would happen, but then again who knows. That was they day their relationship started.

Beck knocked on Tori's front door. When her dad answered it and let him up to her room, he thanked him and started to make his way up the stairs. As he opened the door to her room he saw his perfect Tori asleep in her bed, with tear streaked cheeks. So he sat on the edge of her bed so that he could play with her hair to wake her up.

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**OHMYGOSH! I'm on a roll guys, first I get chapter eight posted, then I get my new story up (which rocks by the way) and now drumroll please...oh wait you already know...CHAPTER 9! YAY! So here it is its long, its awesome, and it made my fingers sore to type it. BUT ITS OK CAUSE I LOVE YOU GUYS! So that's all for now...**

**lotsa love**

**Me **


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